Zoe

Content Warning: Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, stalking 

I met Todd my junior year of college. He was smart, athletic, and had a big group of hometown friends. He was my first love. We dated for the remainder of college and moved in together after I graduated. The red flags were always there but I could not see them then.  

He was controlling, manipulative, and degrading. He would accuse me of cheating on him, convincing himself that a rash was an STD, control who I could see and when, and call me horrible names including “disgusting,” “pathetic,” and “slimy.”

When I gathered the courage to leave him, his behavior became even more erratic. Todd oscillated between pretending nothing happened and frantically begging me to stay. He unpacked my boxes and hid them in the basement. After I finally left, he started showing up at my new home and at my work. He broke into my apartment multiple times.

After less than a year, I knew I had to uproot my life again. I moved to a new apartment in a different neighborhood and did not give him my address. I blocked his phone number and all of his social media accounts.

Two weeks later, I was sitting in my new home by the window. I glanced outside. There he was, in the street, waving. To this day, I have no idea how he found me.

Not only did he begin showing up there but he also started to linger in my neighborhood. He would find and harass me at random times: during a walk home from spin class, on my way to grab lunch, around the corner from my favorite coffee shop. I was afraid every time I left my apartment. All of this was paired with incessant letters, emails from new addresses, and texts and calls from new numbers (to evade my blocks).

I felt like a shell of a person. I was sad and anxious. Todd made me feel worthless every time I saw his name or face. This is the state I was in when I called Casa Myrna’s Legal Advocacy Program. I did not qualify for their aid financially, but their lawyers still took the time to talk me through the process and help me find representation. They answered my calls and emails for weeks as I navigated the legal system.

I cannot stress enough that if I—a college educated, English fluent, successful white woman—cannot get a restraining order on my own, then it is impossible for most of the people who need one.  

Casa Myrna is the reason I was granted the order. They are the reason that for the first time in years, I feel healthy and safe. The work they do is no less than life saving.